New Diet for 2008

Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer!

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. The woman behind me asked me if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. But that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no -- I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard.

WAL-MART won't let me shop there any more.

I have no clue who actually wrote this, but someone named Judith Mills sent it, eventually reaching me, like those other internet stupid stories. And don't get me started on Wal-Mart ...