Tuesday, October 5, 2010

When is it "safe" to be American?

When I heard the story on MPR this yesterday a.m., the "advice" from Sec.State was to avoid attracting undue attention as Americans. For example, don't wear American flags attached to clothes. My first thought: "fly the flag, but only at home?"

What's the message?

"You will be derided by certain tannin-containing groups as unpatriotic if you don't display stickers/signs/pins/etc of the American flag, but ... now you must show that you're patriotic, but only if you're inside the US."

What good are signs of patriotism here? Everyone knows I'm a rabid progressive who hates my homeland and refuses to conform to the desires of the Conservative One True Faith by ny embracing a socialist government. All those dipshits don't even know what socialism is. If they did, they wouldn't think I'm a socialist. Of course, I doubt they actually understand what communism or marxism or any other economic policy is either. If they did, they'd realize the "conservative" economic policy is actually stupid.

Now, seriously ... how can anyone fail to notice I'm American? I sound American when I speak, regardless of how I dress. I sound American, no matter what language I'm using. By the way, I have been assured my accent is 'cute' by one of my friends.


That's it! Speak some language other than English. No one will believe I'm American if I actually speak another language!

I am far more likely to be killed or maimed this afternoon at 15:00 (don't want to sound American when I tell time) en route (French!) to pick up my son at his foreign-language-(chic - more French)immersion school while driving my (German import) Volkswagen since my (foreign immigrant American-job displacing) Husband is at work than if I was in Europe somewhere (spending my American dollars supporting foreign businesses).

The State is always harping about being safe when abroad. Yes, stupid people need to be reminded that traveling in some places is a decision involving more risk than others. No, I don't particularly want to visit Nigeria or Cameroon or Palestine. That decision was reached without needing to consider my nationality. If it's a place where my nationality will be bad ... I assure you that I don't want to go there anyway. The Central African Republic has roaming gangs of rebel militia; Mauritania has terrorists kidnapping & killing French and Italian travelers. I don't know about you, but if I was a German citizen, I wouldn't be going there.

But now, as I review the State Department's travel warning website, apparently I shouldn't go anywhere. And, please take note, Europe is not on their travel warning website. Wouldn't want to piss off our mutually-euro-centric allies too much.

As observed by Mr. Ivey, he would be going to Europe: With a Teflon coated platinum walking sphere with radar and explosive sensors. I experience Europe through a small tube, but hey, no extremist is going to bag this American!

Safe is a relative, subjective word.

You're never safe.


I need to go find my car keys ...

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