Thursday, November 6, 2008

[def.] Conservative

con·ser·va·tive adj
1. in favor of preserving the status quo and traditional values and customs, and against abrupt change
con·ser·va·tive n
1. somebody who is reluctant to consider new ideas or accept change
2. somebody who supports the doctrine or beliefs of conservatism
con·ser·va·tive - synonyms
traditional, conventional, unadventurous, old-fashioned
con·ser·va·tive ≠ conservation
One might have thought (incorrectly) that 'conservative' had something to do with conservation. Nope, unless one counts the conservation of the status-quo.

Afterall, what do the Conservatives want to conserve?

the environment? sure, as long as it doesn't require acknowledging the possibility that the crap dumped from my factory could possibly hurt anything outdoors

our natural resources? as long as I can go deer hunting with an AK-47, who the hell cares about barn owls?

the global environment? as long as it doesn't involve requiring operators of coal-fired power plants to do anything about their greenhouse gas emissions

our limited domestic petroleum resources? drill, baby, just fuckin' drill!

our individual liberties? sure, except if you ...
criticize my government, in which case, you deserve to have your phone wire-tapped

our ability to provide enough scientists to fuel our technology industry? as long as I don't have to actually pay for any federal research budget ... or a world-class education system. Hell, even a half-baked education system is too damn much.

our national reputation as a decent place to live? as long as you aren't queer, Muslim, from some god-awful country no one's ever heard of, or can't afford health care, you're welcome to stay

our GDP? hey, Joe, out-source that to India.

our national productivity? sure, as long as I don't have to pay for my employees to be healthy

our fiscal future? as long as my mega-business doesn't have to pay taxes in the U.S.

our ability to "spend our way out of a recession"? as long as I won't have to pay a living wage to all of them damned wetbacks doing shit-labor, and never need to learn the definition of usury.

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