Saturday, July 5, 2008

Synonyms

Super Party Size = Big Fat Butt Size

got me thinking about other synonyms.


Wind-swept look = didn’t bother to comb hair this a.m.

decadent = expensive

splurge = extra fat

indulge = higher profit margin

"flaws are unique and contribute to the beauty of [object you just bought]" = our quality control sucks, but since we only pay 15 cents/hour, we're going to laugh at you westerners for buying our 3rd world junk

multi-cultural event = us white folks want to hang with everyone else in an environment which allows us to maintain a numerical superiority

traditional food = as long as you're the only white person in the joint, yummmmm

traditional food from some European country where they're white anyway = something with the same name, but makes the natives' eyebrows raise

low-fat = too much sugar

handicap parking
= why doesn't being 8 month pregnant count?

vegetarian
= someone who still salivates at the smell of bacon

30% seasonal clearance sale
= we already make our profit quota on all the other schmucks who wanted a swimsuit in March.

Death toll = body count

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

"New" = same price, smaller size

"energy efficient" = works for 2 years then dies (my AC and microwave just did this) so as not to use anymore energy

Anonymous said...

Other nice and adequate synonyms for phrases in scientific publications can be found here:

http://www.getamused.com/jokes/0101128.html .

Gopher MPH said...

I've read one or two of these scientific ones. I just had to tell Peter "for the next 4 minutes, don't ask why I'm laughing." = I don't want to repeat all of this stuff that you've already heard.