Prayer

The aerosol gods have turned their faces from me.

How have I failed Thee, o beneficent Grantors of scientific Victory? How may my experiment receive Thy Graces? Shall I pray at the altar of my differential mobility analyzer & make sufactant offerings? Shall I beg for intercession from Your holy Saints Maxwell & Boltzmann in their statistical glory? Will my nightly faith in Caffeine please you?

Grant stability in my voltages that I may serve your size distributions in faithfulness. Disperse your munificence lest my thesis wither & die on the vine of my advisor’s patience.