Law v. Russian literature

Politifact, my amusement for the evening states:

... a Nov. 19, 2009, news release, Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, said that the 2,074-page bill was "longer than Russian novelist Leo Tolstoy’s War and Peace ."

We decided to see if he was right.

As for the bill, we cut and pasted it into a Microsoft Word document and found that the bill contained 384,067 words. Just to make sure that Word wasn't choking on such a large file, we did a sampling of word counts on individual pages, then multiplied the typical one-page count by the total number of pages in our Word document. The single pages we checked tended to have a bit fewer than 300 words per page in Word. So, with our document running to 1,372 pages -- shrinkage that illuminates how spread-out the text of the Senate bill is -- we came up with a ballpark estimate of 411,000 words.

So while Hatch is right if you simply count pages, when you use a more accurate comparison -- the number of words -- War and Peace is actually longer. In other words, he is right by one measurement, but not by the best measurement. So it turns out that Democrats aren't as wordy as a Russian novelist. Who knew?

#7

2009: 19 people were murdered in Minneapolis

Jan 20, 2010: the 7th homicide is reported.

Not doin' so great in Friendly Minnesota.

Be a lady

Arlen Spectre tells She Who Must Not Be Named (R-MN) to act like a lady, to wit:

"I'm going to treat you like a lady," Mr. Specter shot back. "Now act like one."

Ah, all the more reason to rejoice that he became a democrat: no party harangue after such an honest reminder of common courtesy. This article, however, gave grave cause for fear & trepidation. She Who Must Not Be Named (R-MN) is apparently hosting She Who Must Not Be Named (R-AK) at some rally. I will definitely be somewhere else that day.

I thank God that I don't live in the 6th District. Keith Ellison could board a Northwest flight with explosives in his underwear & I would still prefer him to Bachmann. Come on - complaints about Ellison going on Hajj - or complaints about Bachmann lying about health care bills?

Truth-o-Meter Lie of the Year:

61% Palin ... claims ... uh, lies ... about death panels

3.8% Bachmann ... claims ... uh, lies ... about health care bills

Now, lest you think this is just a bunch of "liberal elitists" slamming "poor misunderstood Christian conservatives":
7.1% of their readers thought that Pres. Obama's claims about "preventative care saves money" was a lie.

Why spend money on basic education, when PR campaign dollars are so much cheaper and quite obviously so much more effective?

German Poetry in color

... and no, not Goethe ...

Farben
Vor allem Schwarz und Weiß und Grau
vergesse ich manchmal
die bunten Farben in meinem Leben:
Du bist für mich
weder Schwarz nor Weiß
sondern Rot und Blau und Gelb und Grün
meine Lust und Freude

rev: it occurred to me that most of my friends don't speak German, so a translation is in order:

With all of the Black and White and Grey,

at times I forget

the brilliant Colors in my Life:

You are for me

neither Black nor White

but rather Red and Blue and Yellow and Green,

my Passion and Joy

My friend The Author enjoys poetry; I braved the elements of authorship & posted something I wrote on her blog. to wit:

The only thing vaguely like poetry that I’ve written in my adult, post-college life was in German.
We do not, and will certainly not, even consider what spewed forth from my pen during those heady days in Arnold Hall dating one of the ... uh, no, the greatest asinine Idiot I've ever given my affections to. Boy, and that's some epitaph. What a waste of paper that relationship was.

This is why one should clean out the car regularly, besides achieving the status of mobile microbiological experiment station. One might leave bits of paper with incriminating doodles indiscriminately about a semi-public space.

My mother-in-law saw a small bit of such paper in my car. My heart sunk, as she read it. Her comment was along the lines of “it looks like something written to a lover”.

I responded, with forced courage, “I wrote it for Mr.Gopher” (who at the time of maternal discovery was my husband, although he was my lover at the time I wrote it).

I’m not sure if the surprise was due to the fact that I wrote it, or that I wrote it for her son. Although, I suppose, the surprise might simply have been that I wrote anything in German.

And, strangely enough, I didn't feel embarrassed, when I contemplated sharing it on The Author's blog. This is strange since I’m horribly, mortally embarrassed every time I think about asking for someone’s opinion on the prose fiction that I wrote. Perhaps this is simply too short to be able to be embarrassed.

New Party

Farmer Dick & I were chatting @ May Day. I am considering campaigning for someone this Summer, if I could only figure out who deserves my help. He is considering getting a political party that could combine the Greens and other Libertarian-minded folks. This boggles the mind. Upon consideration, I suggested a name would appeal to younger voters. And, he could always call it something else. My suggestion was the Where's The Freedom Party. a.k.a. WTF Party

Fahrenheit 32 ... or 451?

"Book-burning seems terribly wrong but we have to get rid of unsold stock for pennies and some of the pensioners say the books make ideal slow-burning fuel for fires and stoves," from CNBC

Name that team ...

New Minnesota soccer team conducts online vote for name

Minnesota Voyageurs
NSC Minnesota
FC Minnesota
Minnesota United
Minnesota Northern Lights
Northstar FC

While I like the sound of "Voyageurs", I'm reluctant to lend the name Minnesota to any other sports team. The state of Minnesota seems to keep demanding the people here in Hennepin Co. shell out the money for the latest sports insanity. Now, Blaine is sufficiently far away that I don't imagine they'll be able to increase the sales tax here just in Hennepin County to foot the bill. So, while I still think the new baseball stadium should be used by the Hennepin County Twins, I won't mind the Minnesota Voyageurs I guess.

I'm voting for Northstar - if the ice hockey team isn't here to use it, someone else might as well.

The team will be replacing the Minnesota Thunder. So, Mr.HumanTeam - you can come visit during the summer season for a nice football game. The kind with spherical balls. They'll be playing with teams from the United Soccer League.

Enter to pick the new name & win season tickets (1 from the pool of all entrants and 1 from the group picking the winning name).

Butpulski Ice Garden pictures

birthday present #44: digital camera

this didn't make it to the ice skating festivities last night at the Butpulski Ice Garden. LawyerB (married to LawyerA) posted pictures on his Facebook page. Luckily, one can copy them. So, while the photograph wasn't taken last night - - it at least gives you a picture of the rink we were on.

This afternoon after school:
Jr.Gopher#1 asked me if I liked the way he was hitting the puck.
me: yes. I was proud of how well you were doing by the end of the night
Jr.Gopher#1 you were proud of me?
me: yes. So was Leo's dad.
Jr.Gopher#1 were all the grown ups proud of me?
me: yes
Jr.gopher#1 was Papa proud of me?
me: I'm sure if he'd been there, he would have been proud of you.

At the end, at least he seemed to have some self-confidence in his approval rating.

The boy with the blue jersey & white helmet is Michael's buddy Leo. Another great reason to have picked St. Albert's: wonderful people our age whose children are the same age as ours. clarification: these were taken another day, just wanted to show where we were; the other kid isn't mine.

Charity begins at home: in your brain

Because other people besides evangelical TV assholes are also evil:

Here is a list of at least slightly reputable organizations which are providing aid to Haiti
Personally, based upon past records, if you feel more comfortable giving to a longer-lasting bigger named institution, try:
American Red Cross
Catholic Relief Services
Doctors Without Borders
Lutheran World Relief
Partners In Health

Caution: Bogus On-Line Scams about Haiti (or anywhere else):
Haitian Earthquake Relief Fraud Alert from the FBI.


More advice on intelligent charitable giving:

1. During disasters, stick to the Oldies but Goodies, give directly to the charity, do your research, don't give to governments known to be corrupt. or in this case, already completely dysfunctional
2. Avoid "new" charity websites registered within 24 hours of the disaster.
3. Pick the charity which has the lowest overhead - i.e., the maximum percent goes to the actual cause, and not administrative costs (read: big salaries for American fat cats)
4. Call the charity and ask questions; never feel pressured to give right now. I assure you, your $20 will not matter if it's right now, or tomorrow.
5. It's your money; give it where you want.
6. Realize that the costs of disasters are looooooooooooooooooong. They will still need your money tomorrow. and the day after and the day after and the day .... don't give till it hurts. Give in smaller amounts over a longer time. This is all about cash flow.
7. Diversification might be good risk management for your 401k; it might not be for charitable giving.


Check out charity groups with other sources:
Charity Watch - rates national (not local) organizations, but the details aren't on-line
Charity Navigator - their tips & resources are well done

Some of these only rate national groups; e.g. Catholic Relief Services isn't rated by Charity Network because they're exempt from certain IRS reporting (because they are the international arm of the Catholic Church, not domestic);
similarly, the Archdioscese of St. Paul isn't rated by Charity Watch because it isn't a national organization.

Websites debunking urban legends or scams should also be considered, if you aren't familiar with a group trying to pry your cold, hard earned cash out of your pocketbook.

Charity Watch listed its top-rated charities serving Haiti: 4 of the 5 I listed above all have A ratings (the highest). The 5th isn't listed with them.



And, by the way ... I strongly recommend finding some charitable organization which supports something you like. And then give to them. Being a routine donor helps the organization plan its budget. Some places have a monthly donation on-going payment plan. e.g. Minnesota Public Radio does, with an option to make it an on-going donation, rather than an annual one. It cuts down on their administrative costs by not needing to pester me or remind me to give them more money. (Although last Spring I did promise to give them more money when I get a job again - - they laughed and said that if I keep giving them worthwhile advice, they'd count it even.)

Techological generosity

From the American Red Cross:

In addition, several hundred thousand people have chosen to make a mobile donation. Donors can text "Haiti" to 90999 on their cell phone to send a $10 donation to support Red Cross relief efforts in Haiti. The mobile giving effort raised more than $3 million by Thursday morning, and all money raised goes to support Red Cross relief efforts in Haiti.

An interview this afternoon mentioned this. They were really pleased by the ability to raise so much money in so little time by taking advantage of the marvels of modern technology. Telephones are nothing compared to this.


That said,

I strongly urge anyone who can to donate blood. Go find someone to do it for you, if you can't. The lines outside the Red Cross office in Lansing stretched around the block on the evening of September 11, 2001. I was there for 5 hours (well, first donating & then helping). This is a much, much, much greater disaster.

And, sure, donate money. Directions are above. This is assuredly the most pressing item. But, if the ARC is going to send blood & blood products to Haiti, they need to replace them here.

The president of Haiti is homeless; I can't imagine anyone ever saying that here. Here there's always a few more miles to go before getting out of a disaster zone. Haiti is about the size of New Jersey.

The sheer poverty of the country beggars the imagination. And that was before Tuesday. I'm left wondering how much money will be dedicated to relief efforts. I am then left wondering why it couldn't have been sent there some time over the past 20 years. No different than the bottom of New Orleans: sure, we can spend a billion dollars to do a half-assed repair job after a hurricane, but we sure couldn't possibly be bothered to have spent anything before Katrina, to have minimized the disaster.

It's so soul crushing to look at the sheer waste of human life resulting from humanity's unwillingness to engage in anything preventative.

The immediate disaster is going to be horrible, yes. But there's no water; and certainly no clean water. After the acute care, disease is going to set in. TB is rampant in the country already; so is AIDS. They can soon expect everything else water borne to set in - typhoid, malaria, dysentery, etc.

The bill in the long run is going to be in the trillions. Jee, if the GDCSMF bankers hadn't tanked our economy, maybe we could have spent a few billion dollars on our neighbors rather than even further padding the GDCSMF's self-righteous nest eggs.

&

Pat Robertson is evil.

9:40-what? p.m.???

It's 9:57. p.m. Central Time.

Our friend (LawyerB) posted on his facebook page:
"... enjoyed skating on the backyard rink with friends tonight. We had hockey sticks, hockey pucks, a sled, mini-chairs, a push car, 3 adults and 5 kids on the ice with plenty of room to spare. Off the ice, we had a fire, hot chocolate, and cookies. Not a bad evening out."

Nope, not a bad night at all. At the beginning, Jr.Gopher#1 was inching along on his skates. At least he was standing on them without problems, and he *was* moving under his own power. Actually, when I came out of the porch, being the last one to get skates on, Jr.Gopher #1 was pushing Jr.Gopher #2 around the ice. #2 was sitting on one of the aforementioned mini-folding chairs.

By the end of the evening, Jr.Gopher#1 was moving rather comfortably, holding a hockey stick and knocking the puck around a bit. I was really quite impressed. Dispelling the maternal bias theory, our friend, LawyerB was also impressed. #1's friend Leo, however, was zooming around the backyard rink like a speed demon, apparently fearless of falling. I suppose when one is wearing hockey gear, it doesn't hurt as much.

By the end of the evening, I had only fallen down twice. For the first time, I got to hold a hockey stick and knock the puck around. I wasn't doing so bad. I'm debating whether to exchange my figure skates for hockey skates. I've decided to learn how to play hockey. In a practical manner, not just appreciating it from the stands. If Jr.#1 is going to learn how to play, I might as well. It will give him someone to at least minimally practice with. And, considering how great I feel right now, after spending well over an hour on the ice, the exercise will do be wonders.

The boys' bedroom light was turned out around 9:20 p.m. Two - yes, 2 - hours past the normal time. Healthy Gopher's prediction: Two demon-children will be discovered tomorrow morning at 7 a.m.

Both of the boys had a really good time. Jr.Gopher#2 demanded rather forcefully whether or not we were going to go to Oskar's house again. (where we were tonight - they have two boys the same age as ours). Jr.Gohper#1 said he wanted a play date with Leo sometime to play indoors, and maybe on the ice. After putting 'jamas on, I discovered Jr.#2 was considering short-term. He wanted to go back to Oskar's house right now! Resulting in quite a bit of crying.

At least it only took about 4 microseconds for the boys to fall asleep. It might take me 15 minutes, but not much more.

bumper sticker of the month

At least the war on the environment is going well

500 cal/day v. 300 cal/hr

The standard figure cited for breastfeeding is that it uses an extra 500 calories per day; an incentive to loose the pregnancy weight.

The English National Health Service (their agent of evil socialism), reports something even better. Sex will use up 300 calories per hour. Giving you a whole-body cardiovascular work-out and reducing the risk of heart disease. I suppose this figure depends upon how ... enthusiastic ... you are.

And, yet again even better:

If you're worried about wrinkles - orgasms even help prevent frown lines from deepening
.

No!

I heard Jr.Gopher#1 utter the phrase: "The TV said ..."

And we don't even have broadcast television, just ads on the kids videos, as he was trying to explain that we needed to buy him a Bob the Builder video on November 15th. (The release date mentioned: I heard the ad.) Mr. Gopher had to explain that it was an advertisement.

What's an ad for? They want you to want something.

yes ...

What do they want you to do?

uhhhh...

They want you to give them money. What happens if you do?

uhhhh...

You don't have any money left in your piggy bank. You have their junk; they have you money.

(He's saving to buy a Mac the Truck a la 'Cars'. $13.95 @ Target. $7 to go.)

Jr. Gopher#1 looked a bit bamboozled when I said the Nov. 15 date was probably 5 years ago.

Last Day = Try New Thing

Jr.Gopher#1 got a pair of ice skates for Christmas. He was thrilled. Today we finally got a chance to try them out. His buddy from St. Albert's had to cancel our visit on the 26th due to the soggy snow trashing the ice surface on their back yard's mini-ice rink. Well, Longfellow Park wasn't exactly the Xcel Center, but it was at least (mostly) fairly flat. Someone must have gone over it with a Zamboni between the 26th & today.

He was at least passingly interested in the pick-up hockey going on. A family (mom, dad + 2 small boys his age) were playing 2 on 2; a couple grown men were playing around at the other end of the rink). I had to explain that it was like soccer: hit the puck through the net, and no, it's not a ball, it's a "puck". Since it doesn't cost anything for tickets, and no reservation is required, I think I'll take him to a Gopher Women's game. National Champions can't be too bad for a starter. And, as it's free, if he loses interest 10 min. into the 1st period, I'm not out anything.

This is, after all, the land of Pond Hockey. A traditional requirement for manhood. There are at least a dozen lakes here within the city limits of Minneapolis, and several dozen, if not 100, within the Twin Cities. Really. The city, however, puts ice rinks in the parks without lakes/ponds. Lay down liner, flood, wait; repeat if necessary. Several of them have hockey rinks installed for city league or school games. One in St. Paul apparently even has the ice surfaced every day.

Jr.Gopher#1 managed to actually become self-propelled for a dozen meters/yards or so. He was thrilled with himself. So was I. I've never tried to teach anyone to skate; I'm barely proficient myself. I once managed to skate backwards. And, as they say, once only counts in horseshoes & hand grenades.

Or is that "close"? I'd probably recall better if I hadn't just sucked down quite a bit of the lovely Irish water of life in celebration of the blessed new year... :-) Although, considering I can type without error at about 45-50 wpm, I figure the alcohol isn't that much of an impediment to my faculty. Probably my Irish genes.

We were @ St. Albert's this evening. The annual New Year's Eve gaming night was on; no, not the gaming that I used to do with the Gaming Guys on Friday nights in my basement... These people brought out the ancient artillery; every possible board game known to Milton Bradley and man kind. Occasionally people would wander past the tables of games looking at things that we, middle aged people, haven't seen since we were kids. Just sitting around, chatting & playing games. And, since it's a Catholic church, I don't think anyone minded the fellow drinking Summit, rather than the pink lemonade. The boys had fun; I was subjected to the proficient maternal Catholic Guilt Trip when the Other Elizabeth asked me to join in a set of some game. Unfortunately she asked just as we were leaving...

We wish you & yours a peaceful and boring New Year.
(Boredom is highly underrated: it's always better to be able to seek Excitement, rather than have it seeking you!)
.

Partial techno-fix

So, apparently Jeff @ In the Loop is going to see this because they, like others, have a little search-o-matic thing-y that finds blog posts where people mention their show. Hi, Jeff!

This, however, is a follow up to my earlier post, with the link to the story about the 3 Wise Men bringing gifts to the Jr.Gophers. So, here you go, Mom. Still looking for the other interview. God, doesn't that sound so impressive? I'd have thought STFU&GBTW, with his award-winning oh-so-public profession would be getting interviewed on the TV/radio/on-line. Of course, that would be for his personal abilities, not his odd personal opinions.
.

95 bottles of beer on the wall ...

I survived.

Came home.

Slept for 6 hours.

please, god, never again ...

98 bottles of beer on the wall

oops - forgot to post this

Nope - didn't watch a movie so far, was surfing the internet looking for information on the type of EEG I'm getting done. Sigh ...

I read so often about the persistent fear or stigma of epilepsy. Perhaps ... well, no not 'perhaps', definitely ... I am insanely lucky. The vast majority of my friends are well educated. My family is well educated. I hardly ever have seizures. I'm pretty sure I could count them without needing more than my fingers & toes. I got the seizures under control on the first drug. I've never had my driver's license revoked (issues, yes, revoked no); hell, I have a license to drive. One of my first cousins has epilepsy. Last year, I had a (hem, "real") laboratory course for the first time in years, no decades. The great impact of epilepsy? I told my teachers, who simply said "oh, okay, let me know if you need anything". See above about educated acquaintances.

People say they fear to reveal they have epilepsy due to the response of ignorant proles. Even if divine/demonic possession isn't the common diagnosis any more.

I was reading these stories (the Epilepsy Foundation has a great website - give them money if you can't think of what to do with that excess in your 401k). How could I possibly compete with such tales of courage & perseverance against such obstacles?

When I was pregnant with Jr.Gopher#2, I heard about a program the Epilepsy Foundation has: since one cannot perform clinical trials on pregnant women, there's no way to do a prospective study of anticonvulsant drugs during pregnancy. They solicit women to submit their pregnancy related medical records to a study group. They can at least get data retrospectively. I had both sets of records forwarded to them. Especially since I was on different medications for the 2 boys. I figure I should do my part to contribute to the available knowledge.

But, how to eliminate society's residual ignorance?

I figure, since it has a relatively minor impact on my life, my battle standard is to refuse to refer to epilepsy by sissy euphemisms; to be completely open about having epilepsy (albeit not one of those people who gets in your face about it). I always check the box "handicapped" (or whatever it's called today) on demographic questionnaires. This has gotten me some really strange looks during job interviews.

I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired ...

Boogie Kids (96 bottles of beer on the wall)

JrGopher#2 loves to dance. Last night both of the boys were shakin' their booties.

We ran across a rendition of The Lion Sleeps Tonight: I started my hand moving in rhythm to the music - as one of the animated characters was. Jr.#2 promptly started doing the same thing. Not just mindlessly copying, like babys, but an enthusiastic joy. Jr.Gopher#1 was having much more fun mimicking the dog at about 0:24 min. Both boys were singing along as well.

Ah, yes, our camera is broken... otherwise I would have posted it to YouTube myself.

97 bottles of beer on the wall

It's 2:46 a.m. Only 3:14 to go before I need to leave the house.

99 bottles of beer on the wall

It's 12:06 a.m. Only 7 more hours to go. I am scheduled to have a sleep-deprived EEG this morning @ 7. I'm not allowed to sleep tonight. I've been so under the weather recently, that this is going to be a significant challenge. I'm going to write/start a review for Up, and then watch something amusing on video with the hope I can stay up. They were pretty adamant that no artificial means of alertness is allowed. Admittedly, given how icky I feel, the idea of drinking coffee is repellent right now. I might try to write the Annual Family Report.

Pursuing a 2nd opinion about some recent complications from my epilepsy, I figured I should take advantage of my proximity to the 2nd largest research hospital in the state - 2 buildings away from my lab. The referring doctor (3 floors up from my lab) said this fellow was the go-to person for seizures. Cool, eh?

I alwasy feel like I have to apologize for going to the doctor's and try to assure her/him that I'm really not a hypocondriac. This time - the first time I've ever sought a 2nd opinion - I felt compelled to tell him that I realize "I don't know" is sometimes the best answer anyone can offer. I guess I didn't want to come across as dissing my regular neurologist. (Whom, it turns out, was trained by him.)

I looked over his shoulder while he reviewed the MRI scans of my brain from this Summer. This is just the coolest. The regular stuff that I expected: cross sections of my brain. Then there was the 3-D images of the blood vessels in my head. Just the blood vessels. In 3D. Whether you attribute this to the Divine or the Random, by God it is utterly beautiful.

After having me do totally mundane things: walk on my toes, on my heels, touch my nose, etc. and collecting a medical history, he pops out with a diagnosis which is more specific than just 'epilepsy'. Then he gets an oh-so-faint twitch of the lips reminiscent of a smile, and says "this is interesting". Just what one wants to hear.

1:20 a.m. god, I am soooooooooooooooooooo tired ...

[review] Virgin Spring

why ... ?

One of Ingmar Bergman's pieces. It won the 1961 Oscar for Best Foreign Film. I guess that makes it a "classic". (A term I find annoying in the film context.) Mr.Gopher enjoyed listening to the euphonious language of his beloved 2nd home (which is not here). I - of course - read the subtitles. It is an omnipresent curiosity when watching foreign films, how well translated the subtitles are. One would think, given this production of the film is only a few years old, and the almost universal knowledge of English in Sweden, that one could rely absolutely on the translation. Well ... the title page states it is based upon a myth/ballad/song from the 14th Century. Or is that the 13th Century? Mr.Gopher told me the English & Swedish had the same number (13), but the counting wasn't the same. Sigh ... now, if only my befuddlement stopped there.

I am not one who bemoans the confusion of foreign films, wringing my hands in embarrassment, wanting to seem chic or cosmopolitan by opining on the "meaning" of the work. There is an introduction to the film by Ang Lee. He stated (for some reason, I thought this person was a woman?) that this was one of the most influential films he saw as a younger man. He went on to discuss the film's content in terms of the basic elements of human life. That the film delved into what makes us human. An interview with the two main actresses revealed similar views.

Set in 13th/14th Century Sweden, this is the explanatory myth of the creation of the Virgin Spring. (A well-spring, that is, not the season) A young spoiled girl (virgin) is sent to bring a bunch of candles to the distant church; a young serf pregnant girl (not-virgin) goes with her. Not-virgin is jealous and despises the virgin. For some utterly inexplicable reason, she abruptly claims to be afraid of the forest, and stays behind at a small hut. Running away from the owner's lecherous advances, she runs after the virgin. The (idiotically) naive virgin meets up with 3 really decrepit goat herders. They induce (seduce?) her to stop on her travels, and have lunch with them. She realizes the goats belong to her neighbors. They attack, rape, kill her and then steal her expensive clothing. All of which occurs within the sight of the not-virgin, who can't bring herself to either run away or defend the other girl. The villains stop for the night to seek shelter at - of course - the dead girl's family's home. Offering her dress as payment for the generosity, they are revealed, and killed by the enraged father.

After finding the daughter, the parents & the rest of the still-living cast mourn. The father swears to God that, to atone for something, he will raise a church on this very spot. Moving the virgin's corpse, a clear fresh spring flows forth from the ground. This is definitely the sort of tale one expects to explain the presence of some small spring in the middle of a church.

I was so hung up on the inexplicable behavior of the pregnant not-virgin, that it really interfered with the rest of the movie. Did she just refuse to go forward out of real fear? Out of sloth, to avoid working/traveling? Did she passively watch the violence because she hated the virgin & wanted to see her get 'taken down a notch'? After doing all of this, why did she return to the farmstead, and then fess up to the father, rather than lying about her indirect complicity? Why did the father just pat her on the head and send her off to help him prepare for battle (i.e., killing the villains)?

Yes, there were interpersonal conflicts: the mother (spoiling the daughter, their only remaining child) vs. the father (who argues she should be trained properly, yet seems to pointedly exclude the mother from his own relationship with the daughter). The staff vs. the not-virgin about her amoral pregnancy-generating behavior. The bizarre little boy (the 3rd goat herder), who is unclearly attached to the older two: is he their brother?

I found the choice of B&W to be particularly interesting for two reasons, one rather mundane and the other not. There is an appealing stark simplicity to shooting in B&W outdoors, which avoids any 'noir' overtones. Ansel Adams in motion pictures. Yet, due to the B/W, the characters' appearance seemed overly stereotypical. The father is visually the utter archetype of a viking hero; the nationalistic artists from the 30s would have loved him as the Aryan uber-mench. (picture #1 here, a strikingly young Max von Sydow). The daughter is a stereotype of what Americans see as the Young Swedish Girl. Yet the not-virgin and the villains were so much antitheses, that it seemed ridiculous. Dark, heavy features, shot in shadows, what I assumed was an overly heavy-handed effort for the director to say "These are the Bad People". Given what I've heard of Bergman, it is difficult to believe that such an obvious choice was accidental. Yet, if it wasn't, I don't understand what its purpose is.

In the SCA, there are genres of story telling. One of them is the kind which is told by Fighters about their exploits on the Field of Battle, where one is required to start the tale: "No shit, there we were ..." There is also the type of tale, which need not be personal, and often is a re-telling of an historical epic/saga/poem. Around the Dark Ages, these tales were rather morbid. These are referred to as "Every One Dies". Virgin Spring is not quite an 'everyone dies' tale, but it has the distinct feel of one. I expected the mother to throw herself into the river to drown herself in sorrow (Admittedly, as an excessively devout Catholic who's really into self-penance, she likely wouldn't have committed the unforgivable sin of suicide.), and then have the father build the church and die with the last stone being laid, while the tenants looked on in servile acceptance.

I would mention that I really enjoyed the appearance of the movie. It would definitely entice me to visit Sweden for that sort of views. The costuming, et al., was really good, and pretty accurate for the time/place. I then discovered it was nominated for Best Costuming (B&W).

So, yes, there's plenty to discuss in an artsy "ain't I cosmopolitan" way ... but I still didn't like the movie.

Gopher Rating:
See it if someone else is paying.
.

Your 15 minutes are up

I just got my 15 minutes of fame. If you want to call it that ...

Minnesota Public Radio contacted me twice last week. Once for In the Loop, a small, slightly odd-ball look at pop culture that's only available on-line. Second by the main News Room. Both of them interviewed me & then decided to use the interviews.

MPR's Christmas Stories
Story of when our house burned down 5 days before Christmas. Aired at 7:20 Christmas Eve morning. Needless to say, I didn't listen to it. Which is sad, because I thought the boys would get a kick out of Mom's voice coming out of the radio.
I was told they'd post the audio on-line. When they do, I'll add it. Here, however, is the text of what I wrote them. Note: the date is wrong, it should have been 1979. C'est la vie.


MPR's In the Loop
Holiday podcast. Skip to about 30:00 min. I'm the first person in the "Santa Alternatives" section. I explained how our Christmas presents are brought by the 3 Wise Men. Our kids believe in Santa, they just know that Santa brings other kids presents (their American cousins), or the Christkind (their German cousins).


technical glitch: the link I put here goes to the most recent podcast, not the specific one I want. Will try to fix. ... and ... I still can't find the link to the 1st interview. Oh, well, you'll just have to believe that it happened (a friend heard it on the radio - I didn't, & I'm curious to hear how they edited it.)

Cooking Tip: burns

When you're standing with oven mits on,
to protect your hands from the metal handles of the roasting pan ...
and you've been doing it for a couple minutes, because you're basting the ham (other piece of meat) ...
and you think "I need to handle something with dexterity",
and want to take the oven mit off,
but the other hand is still holding the roasting pan,

don't tuck it under your armpit while wearing a short sleeved shirt.

just don't.

Micro-squash

What to do when you realize the pan with the acorn squash halves won't fit in the oven along with the ham ...? One, if one is over 35, likely looks at the microwave oven and thinks "appliance only valued for heating left-overs or defrosting frozen peas in 2.5 min."

Cut acorn squash in half
remove seeds
place squash half in a bowl.
Cover.
Microwave on high (for an 800 W oven) for 3 min.
Wait 5 min.
Microwave on high for 3 min.
Remove.
Add pinch of rosemary.
Add pat of butter.
Re-cover.
Repeat for the other half.

Let it sit covered until dinner. Serve as a half to each adult, if it's going to be a larg(er) part of the meal.

Or, just divvy it up as desired. Can slice the half into slices, like a melon, and serve that way.
Or, scoop it out of the shell, try to remove some of the rosemary. Serve like mashed potatoes (made with a masher, not a food processor).

Cheers & Merry Christmas from the Minnesota branch of the Tobias Family.

The Golden Kilometer

The title is actually The Golden Mile, but Russia uses metric. Martin Cruz Smith has a new Arkady Renko novel coming out in March. As with any serial author, I cross my fingers & hope that the pressure to create excellence survives the pressure to simply write another novel. The thorough enjoyment of these works is not increased with frequency. I'm #72 on the library's waiting list. Which means I'll be able to read it about 1-2 months after it comes out.

I wish I had some divine ability to have IM from the publishing gods about my favorite authors. Amazon used to do that, but doesn't anymore (or if they do, I'd appreciate a note about where the function went). I don't mind waiting a while to read something. (A statement predicated upon an assumption I'll have the time to devote to a longer, more enjoyable read which shouldn't be interrupted by data analysis or public health courses ...) However, if I do know - I can jump the line at the library.

For example, the Hennepin County Library only has 4 copies of The Incredibles (I'm #20); given that it's not even vaguely new, I'm surprised at the demand. I'm even more surprised that the library system serving the most populated county in the state has 4 copies of a popular kid's movie. All 4 of us having to stave off the 1,140,984 of the rest of them for it.
-- from 10/30

[review] Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Only Ian Fleming would write a story wherein the heroine is named Simply Scrumptious, with a car that can fly and float. 'Nuff said.

Krankenhaus Tobias

Saturday (10 days ago): I started feeling icky
Wednesday (last week): I lost my voice, thankfully after my big presentation
Wednesday evening: Jr.Gopher#1 started puking
Thursday morning: see above, Jr. Gopher & I spent the day in bed; watched Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang.
Friday: I was still sick, after school Jr.Gopher came home & threw up again.
Saturday: I was still sick, spent the entire day - quite literally - in bed.
Sunday: I was still sick, spent most of the day in bed.
Sunday night: Mr.Gopher started throwing up.
Monday early a.m.: Jr.Gopher#2 started throwing up
Monday morning: Mr. & Jr.#2 still pukin'
Monday evening: I'm feeling better enough that I don't think a trip to the dr. is in order

A repeat executive decision from 3 years ago: No One Is Allowed to Get Sick for the Rest of the Year!

hello, world

there will likely be several posts over the next couple of days. I keep starting them, and then get distracted by school. or cooking dinner. Or flossing my teeth....

I've been soooo sick - the low-grade-guilt-inducing kind of sick - for a week. I (almost) wish it was the flu - at least then I would know it would be gone in a couple more days. This is just weary.

At least there's only one paper left, and it's 1/2 done. then comes the awesome task of clearing out the living room to make room for the tree that's now in the yard.

more sooner or later ...

bumper sticker of the month

OMG GOP WTF?


.

Evil, pure evil

People Are Stupid ... People are Trained to be Stupid ...

HSBC ad on BBC.com:
go to Moscow using your HSBC credit card ... check in to hotel with HSBC credit card ... go to room ... turn on tv ... everything is in Russian ... read book instead.

As a bibliophile, i'm all for reading rather than watching TV. But, seriously ... spend all the money to go to Russia, and then hide out in a Western-service hotel and totally insulate yourself from the fact you're in a foreign country. HSBC, btw, is totally friggin' evil.

mental floss * com

Cool t-shirts because I know you either a) already get it, or b) will go ask someone why it's funny. My favorite is the math shirt, perhaps for Mr.Gopher:

Doesn't work for me, either

I laughed until I cried and my sides hurt ...

food for thought

... i just can't get my kids to eat broccoli ...

Jr.Gopher#1 was about 2 when a woman expressed her amazement upon watching him devour some broccoli. I will admit, I kept some foods away from him (& Jr.Gopher#2): peanuts, honey, and a few things recommended by the baby food book I had. But, otherwise, once they were old enough to eat solid foods ... if it was on the table, they got it.

My philosophy was "don't tell them they may not like it". This was followed by food-management skills:

Jr. "I don't like chicken"
Me "Well, maybe you'll like it tomorrow"

At the age of 5.5, this is still my response.

Children have different tastes for food. At the age of 1-1/2, Jr.#2 was sitting on my lap at a Greek restaurant chowing down on capers, tomatoes, feta cheese, and olives. Red onions were apparently too much for him. When Jr.#1 was younger, I remember being @ El Azteco and watching, with my friends, in astonishment as he kept eating the not-mild salsa.

This past week, I was cooking and contemplated putting jalapeno peppers in the dish. We have a jar of 'mild' sliced jalapenos. Jr.Gopher#2 pops up to help me cook. Seeing the peppers, he then demands a piece of them.

Jr.#2 "I want some of them"
Me "Are you sure?"
Jr.#2 I want some of them.

despite the jar being labeled 'mild', I took one out and tasted it to check my spicy-meter. He of course got cranky that I was eating it and not giving him any. I took one out, took the seeds out of it, and handed him half.

Jr.#2 I want the whole one!
Me Taste this. If you like it, you can have more.

chomp chomp chomp

Jr.#2 I want more!

About 4 slices later, Jr.Gopher#1 shows up and - of course - demands some of whatever #2 is eating.

They chowed down on at least 5 or 6 slices each.

Last night we had fish fillets (the up-scale version of fish-sticks) and schnitzel. Due to technical problems, I needed to get rid of a couple of onions pronto, so I sauteed them to serve with the schnitzel. (btw: yum, yum) Jr.#2, the more adventuresome eater, wanted them. And then more of them.

Who needs broccoli?

.

Bumper Sticker of the Month

God, protect me
from your followers.

8' x 10' = 20' ??

St. Johns Abbey & University is just a bit north of here in Collegeville. The main chapel there is rather pretty. We stopped to see it on the way home from the Gopher Family Annual Independence Day Camp-Out. This is a video of them trying to get their 20 foot tree through the front door, which is 8 x 10 feet. Sideways? Of course. But, a 20' tree is going to have a diameter larger than the door. Hmmmmmm......

Possibility of Winter Amusement

Well, our first real snow came last night. 7" at the airport. Supposed to be more today. Jr.Gopher#1 is already asking to go sledding. The boys pulled out the sleds this past weekend.

MPR's Bob Collins is creating yet another fun little sport: the Golden Snowball. The meteorologist who most closely predicts the actual snow fall wins. Wins what? Who knows. Bragging rights.

Just another way for Midwesterners to jaw about the weather, a favorite topic after one picks sides in the "F-'em, get out of town" or "God, Western Civilization will fall" in the battle of which national sports team is whining about the State paying for a new stadium while the State is trying to figure out how to cope with a $1.2 Billion deficit. I'll leave you to guess which side Mr.Gopher & I are on ...

.

A Day that Will Live in Infamy

... well, until we forget it ...

Below is the U.S.S. West Virginia, one of the few battleships that survived Pearl Harbor; well, 'survived' in the sense that it went back into service.

I was at a WVU-Navy game a few years (oh, god, quite a few years) ago w/ my fellow WVU-grad relatives. Now, normally, of course, any sailors in attendance would be rooting for the US Naval Academy (a.k.a. Annapolis). The current West Virginia, an Ohio Class nuclear submarine, was in port. Part of the crew was in attendance, and rooting for - yup - West Virginia U. I assume their CO perhaps gave ... well, not quite orders ... about loyalty in attendance.

No doubt the crew of the West Virginia in 1940 would be rather astonished to see her current incarnation:

30 Second Bunny Theater

What's your favorite movie? Re-enacted in 30 seconds by Bunnies? Season 3 has 38 episodes. You'll just have to suck up watching the same f'in 0:15 intro to a 1:00 show. Every time.

(you need a Netflix subscription, $, though I'm sure you can find it elsewhere, too)

I particularly liked:

Die Hard

March of the Penguins

Terminator

Casablanca

and Harry Potter, #1-5 (yes, all 5 movies in 30-ish seconds)

hee hee hee hee

Christmas Klingon

Come to Mpls. See a production of the original

Christmas Carol

in its original Klingon.

The speed limit is ...

35. 30. 40. 55.

Whatever it is, I get an announcement from the back seat as we drive, now that Jr.Gopher#1 has figured out which signs are the speed limits. This, then, is followed by, "why are you driving 40? The speed limit is 30." (He can read the speedometer over my shoulder.)

Welcome to my world

ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.
Und als sie dann nach Hause kam,
da hatt´sie weiße Stiefel an.
ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.

Jr. Gopher #1 really likes this

ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.
Und als sie dann nach Hause kam,
da hatt´sie weiße Stiefel an.
ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.

ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.
Und als sie dann nach Hause kam,
da hatt´sie weiße Stiefel an.
ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.

ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.
Und als sie dann nach Hause kam,
da hatt´sie weiße Stiefel an.
ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.

ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.
Und als sie dann nach Hause kam,
da hatt´sie weiße Stiefel an.
ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.

ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.
Und als sie dann nach Hause kam,
da hatt´sie weiße Stiefel an.
ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.

ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.
Und als sie dann nach Hause kam,
da hatt´sie weiße Stiefel an.
ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.

ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.
Und als sie dann nach Hause kam,
da hatt´sie weiße Stiefel an.
ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.

ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.
Und als sie dann nach Hause kam,
da hatt´sie weiße Stiefel an.
ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.

ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.
Und als sie dann nach Hause kam,
da hatt´sie weiße Stiefel an.
ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.

... bored yet?

ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.
Und als sie dann nach Hause kam,
da hatt´sie weiße Stiefel an.
ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.

ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.
Und als sie dann nach Hause kam,
da hatt´sie weiße Stiefel an.
ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.

ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.
Und als sie dann nach Hause kam,
da hatt´sie weiße Stiefel an.
ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.

Biblical regulations

"We're also going to bring a transparency to the regulatory jungle that is unprecedented in the federal government," Labor Secretary Elaine L. Chao told business owners in a speech on June 2002. "There are more words in the Federal Register describing OSHA regulations than there are words in the Bible. They're a lot less inspired to read and a lot harder to understand. This is not fair."

I try to console my outraged sense of morality and ethics with my mantra:

... one day, you will stand before God and have to explain what you did with your life ... and boy, you will be fucked ...

I also think this is a good touchstone for moral decisions in my own life.


(former) Sec. Chao's primary function as a lawyer was union-busting. Only a Republican toadying to the Christian-zealots would compare the Federal Register with the Bible. The former is the source of all federal regulations, including all of the OSHA & EPA "regulations", i.e. what you need to do to be in compliance with the law. And I'm willing to bet that Ms. Chao hasn't actually read either one, unless it was to figure out how to justify fucking the little guy with the contents.

Of course, pointing to the royally retarded (and I mean that in the scientific sense, as well as the social one) approach to labor laws under Bush II, saying "this is a new administration" rather much ignores the pathetic approach to labor law for the past 40 years. The Democrats aren't any better at this. And they are - in my opinion - sinking just as fast. They have the majority... just Fuck the Republicans and just get on with doing what it right! Just DO what you been whining about for the past 8 years. aaaaarrrrgggghhh.

more strange parenting events (95 bottles)

More things they never tell you about being a parent:

• Walking through the den/TV room/toy zone in the dark at midnight, seeing a faint phosphorescent glow & you think, "I told the boys the remote goes on top of the TV, not on the floor!", only to realize it's your son's glow-in-the-dark stegosaurus his cousin won for him at a penny arcade in L.A.

• You tactfully refrain from laughing with maniacal glee as your child steps on one of those itty-bitty one-dot Legos you've repeatedly stepped on & repeatedly told them a zillion times to pick up. You, of course, offer comfort anyway.

• On the same note, you become aware that you can offer comfort without offering much in the way of sympathy. See above.

• It is possible to go from 100 mph to full stop in 17.6 sec. -- if one is talking about the hyperactive berzerker speed of a two year old bouncing around his bedroom, off the bed, off the walls, off the shelving, off the dresser, off the drapery, off the floor ...

• It is possible to want to leave your children to the wolves in Northern Minnesota while concurrently wishing they would just calm down enough to let you hug them.

• One's temper with Idiot Drivers is much, much shorter when your child is in the car. While 2 blocks from home, with Jr.Gopher#1 in the car, some Idiot pulled out of the alley on 34th St. straight out in front of me. Thank God for ABS brakes and good tires. De ja vu: the exact same method was used for totaling my last VW 11 months ago.

.

Voodoo Writing

The [insert agency here] academic and research training efforts have been strengthened by increasing the synergy across existing programs to result in a cohesive center that is greater than the sum of its disciplinary components.

Wow - my writing class last year didn't teach us this style of "please give me money" grant application.

Class v. Status

I wrote quite a bit this summer for my socio-behavioral-whatever course. I've used the term 'socioeconomic status' several times, as well as other PC terms. I finally had a breakthrough finishing my last assignment, which was a brainstorming project to facilitate the development of an intervention to reduce childhood obesity (how's that sound for socio-behavioral b.s.?)

Obesity is a result of our culture's class system: we (the huddled masses yearning to breathe free) wanted to be like the rich. The rich who had an abundance of food in general, and who were able to eat lots of different kinds of food. The rich who didn't need to spend 14 hours per day doing back breaking labor in a factory or on a farm. When presented with the opportunity to be less active, we took it; when presented with abundant food, we took that too.

After writing 'residue of a class system' for the paper, I've subsequently been thinking much on class as a factor in public health. Yes, people will assure you that class is important. But I think too many people look at race rather than class. Focusing on "race" lets rich white Americans think we're doing something good for the poor blacks we've been oppressing over the centuries and therefore lets us lie to ourselves that we're not oppressing anyone anymore.

I think that this whole "race card" does get played waaaaay too often. It keeps the poor disenfranchised, because the poor aren't one color or one race. "Race card" is also a euphemism for "relations with African-Americans" and is racist in and of itself by excluding the rest of the races.

It's a pity Society doesn't look at socioeconomic class: it is far, far, faaar more quantifiable than some chromosomal chromatograph of one's skin color.

I've decided that I'm going to ditch the use of "status" in regards to most of my writing. Screw it. It isn't socioeconomic 'status' - it's a class. It is an acknowledgment that we live in a class system just as much as the poor schmos in India - we just don't have the decency or self-awareness to acknowledge it.

A Class System is one where you are simply born into your lot in life. You're working class or Upper Class or whatever, because you're parents are. Or possibly because you managed to eek your way into that class (usually by marriage or falling out of a higher one). Being in a "status" sounds so ... transitory ... Like the boarding gate status for your flight. As if it's going to change, and you'll like the change. The term "status symbol" has an inherent meaning of "status of being rich/wealthy". When I was in high school, Calvin Klein Jeans were the 'status symbol' d'jour. No one mentioned that ratty worn-out hand-me-downs were a status symbol too. Because it was a status we didn't want to have.

Being at the bottom of the socioeconomic cesspool of life isn't a "status" - it's a way of life. Which you will in a probability never escape. See ya soon!

We Will Rock You

Mr. Gopher & I have tickets to the U2 concert here in June.

As it's on campus, there's finally been an immediate financial incentive - other than the cheap bus pass - to being a student.

>> rev. apparently it sold out in 2 hours when it went on general ticket sales.

Where does your child play?

Go to University Ave. in St. Paul, just east of Fairview. I honestly don't recall the name of the specific street, it's the first one east of Fairview. On the north side of that intersection is a YMCA and a small school building. The school has 2 signs: Avalon School (sign says its a public 7-12 school) and Twin Cities German Immersion School (is a K-5 public charter school).

Stand on the sidewalk in front of the school. There's a fence.

Look at vast expanse of wood chips. This is my son's play ground. Is there any grass? No. The grass off to your right is the front yard of the business there.

Walk into the play ground and look around. There's no gate in the fence to keep my kindergarten son in. There's no gate to keep you or any other member of society out. Why?

Look at the sign in front of the fence where you're standing. It reads: St. Paul Park & Recreation Board.

This was brought up at the German School's Board Meeting earlier this year. "The planning is complicated by the fact that the area in front of the school is owned by the City of St. Paul and forms part of a public park. Fencing and landscaping are both seen as high priorities, but both require permission from the city."

The school isn't allowed to do anything - not even landscaping - because the City of St Paul is ... well, I have no clue what they're doing.

The following was mentioned by Mr.Gopher: The park was donated to the city in 1906 (or so), with the caveat that it be a park. Nothing has been done with it in the intervening, um ... 103 years. Yeah, not '96, but '06. And so long ago, that one needs to ask which '06.

Now, go to St Paul's website. Click on the page to find one of their lovely Parks. You can't find this one. aaaaaahhh ... I guess the park is so important that someone lost it & they don't even know they have it ...

Go back to the fence & look east. There's grass in front of the first building, and then it turns into businesses' buildings and parking lots.

Look west. The YMCA has a fenced in yard (and apparently installed the playset without city permission - a great example of forgiveness being easier to get than permission). After that, the Griggs Building has its parking lot on the "City Park Land". The corner of Fairview & University has a bus stop. The "Park Information Sign" is there, but there's no park near it, just the Griggs' parking lot.

Someone in St. Paul went through the bother of paying for the nice, colorful sign with multicultural images. For a park that doesn't exist. But they can't allow the schools to put in grass? Even if the schools pay?

Insert lots of frustrated profanity.

Insert more.

Why won't the city just let the schools make the place nice for the children? It's not as if they could actually honestly claim "we're about to do something intelligent with the property".

Can you honestly imagine any public school letting total strangers into the school's playground? I could go sit on this school's playground and they'll have to let me because it's a "public park".

Now, mind you, I'm not paranoid about sex offenders or such. But I am really annoyed that the general public is allowed to wander around where these kids play and can interrupt them. I'm really, really annoyed that my kid is stuck trying to play soccer on wood chips. And, by far, I'm *most* annoyed that there's no complete fence to keep the balls and kids from running into University Avenue. That's not an annoyance factor - this is basic bodily safety.

waiting in line

... and waiting ... and waiting ... and waiting ...

The Hennepin County Library, which recently merged with the Minneapolis Public Library, serving the most populous count in the state of Minnesota (1,140,998 ~20% of the population), with two dozen branches, has 3 copies of the Lion King.

Go figure: They have 3 dozen Bob the Builder videos (at least 5 of which are at the Ridgedale branch).

We are currently #71 of 134 waiting for one of those 3 discs.

Appeal to Consequences

A logical fallacy based upon desired consequences rather than reality. An example given is for Mr.Gopher:

Pi is probably a rational number: being rational would make it more elegant.

Piracy

Sometimes I enjoy reading a movie review, even if I'm not inspired to go see the film. On this instance, though, both appeal. See note at bottom about German political policy.

Pirate Radio: hopefully I'll get to see it around Thanksgiving, although The Author & I have a date to see The Road, which I'd do before this.

from the movie review:
The [English] government vows to sink the pirates and finally forces through the required legislation. This is highly unpopular. Just imagine an American administration turning off your rock and forcing you to listen only to NPR. Wow, I'm sorry I wrote that. There are probably fringers who think Obama is plotting to do just that.

I would be tempted to drop MPR a little not, although I'm sure they've already seen it.

Radio Caroline, upon which the movie is loosely based, is still broadcasting through iTunes. Right now they have a 1966 playback-year.


now, about the German politics:

There was a quiz on Der Spiegel to help you figure out which political party platform most closely matches your own. Since they have 100 parties - well, actually on a dozen or so - this is far more complicated than here, where the choice is usually 50:50 shot in the dark. After answering the questions as honestly as I think, for a personal platform, not necessarily what I would encourage the whole country to do, and considering an occasionally misunderstanding of the question in the context of how Germany works,... the result was the closest party was the Pirate Party. The focal point of which is civil rights, esp. regarding what we consider the 1st amendment's points on publication and access to information.

more out of date jokes

Mr.Gopher pointed me toward a similar style of East German jokes from Radio Eriwan.
here loosely translated by myself:

Could the catastrophe at Chernobyl have been avoided?
Sure, if the Swedes hadn't blabbed about it.


What is Chaos?
Questions about the State Economy will not be tolerated!


Can you clarify the difference between Democracy and the People's Democracy?
Sure. It's like the difference between a jacket and a straitjacket.

Of course, there are a couple I don't understand, or that just wouldn't be as funny in English, because the play on words only works in German. e.g. another joke about Chernobyl mushrooms & toilets. I don't get it. Maybe it's better that way.
Can you drive 120 km/hr [70 mph] in a Russian car on Russian streets?
Sure. Once.


Can we spread Socialism to Canada?
Sure, but then who would produce all our wheat?


Can we spread Socialism to Switzerland?
Sure, but it would be a shame do that to such a nice country.

Rules of the Reels

A list of Movie Rules from Roger Ebert's Movie Glossary. This is - assuredly - not the whole list, which is gigantic. I don't really care if these are funny to you. They were to me. There were quite a few more amusing ones.

Anti-Anti-Auto Theft Device
Any actor can start any car by pulling any two wires from under the dash and touching them together to make them spark. This not only starts the car but it also defeats the steering columns locking mechanism.

Breathing Corpse Syndrome
No one in the movies or on television has ever looked convincingly dead, a condition much harder to fake than an orgasm.

California Sunrise
As viewed from North America, the sun rises from the Atlantic at an angle up and to the right, and sets into the Pacific at a corresponding angle down and to the right. Lazy California directors fake an East Coast sunrise by filming a California sunset and running it backward, though this causes the sun to rise up and to the left.

Clean air duct principle
Whenever the protagonist attempts to sneak through a secure building ("Die Hard," "The Simpsons"), the air ducts are always clean and dust free, never coated with dust bunnies or causing so much as a sneeze.

Dead for Sure, No Doubt About It
In a movie, the absolute proof of the death of a character is when blood drips slowly from the corner of the mouth. This is in too many movies to document. An interesting variation was the dripping of liquid metal from the evil mutant's mouth in "X-Men 2." As a physician, I can tell you that blood coming from the mouth after a fight is either, 1) a sign of a communication of the esophagus with a major blood vessel, which would be fatal, or 2) a cut

Hot Tub Rules
If a hot tub is seen in a movie, people will take their clothes off and get in it. If the women have large breasts, it's a T&A movie. If the women have small breasts, it's a drama or a foreign film. If the women keep their underwear on, it's a coming-of-age movie. If it's a slasher movie or a thriller, there will be an electrical appliance located nearby.

Mutations for the Entire Family
A movie mutant action hero will only mutate in ways that won't interfere with a PG-13 film rating. Example: Spider-Man shoots web out of his wrists. Real spiders shoot web out of their butts.

Generic Drinker Syndrome
Characters in movies always order "beer." As a bartender, I have observed that no one ever just orders "beer." They always call their beer. Movie characters frequently take a small sip and then leave without finishing their drinks, or paying for them (occasionally one character will throw some uncounted bills on the table). In real life, people suddenly called away from the bar take time to upend their glass and greedily suck down whatever is left.

Watch Your Step Rule
Suicides always choose the ledge with the pigeon.

Saved by Technology

From IrelandOn-Line

Facebook alibi clears teenager accused of robbery

12/11/2009
(that would be Nov.12 on this side of the Pond)

A New York teenager accused of robbery has been cleared of all charges after providing a Facebook alibi.

Rodney Bradford spent 12 days in prison after being arrested on suspicion of holding up two people close to his home in Brooklyn.

But the 19-year-old was eventually released after it was found that an update on the social networking site placed him at his father’s flat across town in Harlem.

The message placed one minute before the robbery occurred on October 17 asked “WHERE MY IHOP?”, a reference to the popular US pancake house.

It was intended for his pregnant girlfriend, whom he had hoped would cook up a plate of the breakfast snack.

Instead, it provided proof that Mr Bradford was nowhere near the robbery when it took place. Experts confirmed it was typed from the keyboard of his father’s computer.

It backed-up witness statements claiming that the teenager was at his dad’s house at the time of the incident.

But the discovery of the online alibi did not save him from a short stint at Rikers Island, New York’s jail facility.

Speaking to the New York Post, Mr Bradford said: “They had me on Rikers island for 12 days. It was really miserable.”

He added: “It it wasn’t for Facebook I’d still be on Rikers Island.”

Freedom of Speech?

okay, so this is a bit dated, but it's still awfully funny


Q: Is it true that there is freedom of speech in the Soviet Union the same as there is in the USA?

A: In principle, yes. In the USA, you can stand in front of the White House in Washington, DC, and yell, "Down with Reagan!", and you will not be punished. Just the same, you can stand in the Red Square in Moscow and yell, "Down with Reagan!", and you will not be punished.


I looked for my standard file of jokes or just funny things, and found a dozen Russia/USSR jokes. I have no idea where they came from. I do wonder where my older, much longer list went...

Halloween pictures, finally

Creepy benefits of leaving jack-o-lantern out for a few days at the mercy of biological decomposition and the neighborhood squirrels. Need to consider this for a plan next year. The gaping maw is due to the invasion of squirrels eating all of the teeth. Sorry, don't have before / after pictures (see note below about missing camera).




















JrGopher1 didn't want his picture taken with his head visible. Wall-E was a better visual success than a wear-able success. Cardboard U-Haul moving box + schedule 40 PVC piping + twine & cardboard & medical tape. Nope, didn't have duct tape - eee!





















Jr.Gopher2 wanted to be EVE as soon as he heard #1 wanted to be Wall-E. They really like the movie. This is a Target size 3 diaper box, and the handles from one of those pretty gift bags. The gun was borrowed from a friend.
















Our camera is broken, so there's a delay between photos & sharing (acutally, more like delay between Halloween & borrowing a camera for pictures yesterday).

Vaccinate my cat?

Maybe I should ask for Raven to get vaccinated against swine flu? Or just keep her out of school?

Who is it for?

While I'm not sure I want to see The Antichrist this month, when it's at the Lagoon, I am assuredly not offended by the picture used to advertize the film. Unlike 7 people in England, who are concerned children might see the ad.

The ASA is apparently like our MPAA, giving the film an 18 rating (NC-17). I found their criteria/comments regarding the ad interesting:

was "unlikely to cause sexual excitement"
in ... The Times and The Independent, which the ASA felt children were unlikely to see.
"If children did see the ad, it was not considered particularly explicit.
"unlikely to be seen as irresponsible or cause serious or widespread offence"
"cinema at its most extreme"

Intriguing that whether or not a child see it impacts where it's offensive.

Then, there was von Trier's comment:
The Danish director defended his work at Cannes, saying: "I don't think I owe anyone an explanation. I made it for myself."

Well, unless he's a lot richer than I'd guess, this is a bit disingenuous. He made it for his investors, not himself.

Toasted pumpkin seeds

From the Gopher Kitchen:

1. Remove seeds from pumpkin.
2. Wash & remove pumpkin bits/fibers.
3. Rinse.
4. Spread on towel to dry. (do not use paper towels-you'll get paper bits)
   
5. When mostly dry, spread on cookie sheet & let dry all the way. This might be a day or so, depending on how dry/warm your kitchen is.
6. Put a splash of oil on a cookie sheet. Swish the seeds around in it. Now, this is just a little bit of oil. We're not deep-frying it, just toasting.
7. Put in over @ 200-250F.
8. About every 10 min., use spatula & toss seeds to toast evenly.
9. Remove from oven after about 30 min., or to taste.
10. Let cool.
11. Store in air-tight container.

These are really yummy straight out of the oven, warm. Jr.Gopher#2, the total omnivore, likes them too.

Lego safety

Of course, you go looking for one thing on YouTube, you find zillions. This is totally awesome:

Who's who

In English - an explanation of who's who in the new Germany government.

Hey You! Election Day is Tuesday!!!

While not as immediately apparent in its importance as, say, last November, you

NEED TO GO VOTE!

Election Day here in Minneapolis is critical for two big reasons:

• The City Council is trying an end-run to consolidate power by eliminating the Park & Rec Board. Vote NO.
• The City Citizens will be able to use the Ranked-Choice (or Instant Run Off) Voting for the first time.

GO VOTE!

This method of voting requires a hand-count.

The fact there are no electronic machines involved means the election results won't be in until December. However, unlike the last election to-do here, this won't involve million-dollar law suits.

VOTE!

Here are video explanations of it from MPR. It's brilliant. Voting with Post-Its. Really good visualization.

If only one person gets to win: the Mayor



If more than one person can win: City Council


YOU STILL NEED TO GO VOTE!

If you're confused about how to vote, post your question here & I'll answer it. As long as it is before 10 p.m. Monday night. My civic duty doesn't superceede getting a good night sleep on this topic.

back to the grindstone

I can tell I'm spending more time doing school work (a.k.a. industrial hygiene), when I see something and think "that would be cool to share" - it's IH / safety / public health.