Tuesday, October 28, 2008

[movie review] In the Name of the King

This one is STFU’s fault. He stated Jason Statham was the most underrated action hero in Hollywood today. I respect his opinion. While searching for something relatively undemanding on the video store, I noticed In the Name of the King. Starring Jason Stratham & John Rhys-Davies. Sure, looked like a B-grade fantasy film. But, hey, I loved Tremors & still think Army of Darkness is epic. Rhys-Davies is good, but not particularly consistent. Indiana Jones #1 (there should only have been 1) - he was great; LotR, he was good. Most of his other stuff is hit & miss. And, looking like an action-flick, I thought, hey that Stratham guy, I'll check him out. Hmmm ... not one of my brighter ideas.

The scenery was not really off-putting, but it was obviously post-Lord of the Rings: ooooh, look, that’s Osgiliath ... and Helms’ Deep ... oh, and the pretty magic tree in Minas Tirith ... oh, and I think that’s the burning of the Westfold, done in much greater gory detail with uglier orc-y looking things. And, heaven help us, that’s Burt Reynolds.

Right off the top - any movie that starts with a sword-swinging, boomerang-wielding turnip farmer who can kick-ass with a minor hoard of orc-things .... come on, no matter who the actor is ... this just sets the tone for the movie, or else you’re tone-deaf. I’m okay with this, I wasn’t expecting great art. And, hey, Stratham is supposed to be an action-hero, he ought to be kicking orc-y ass. I only got to 39:42. I quit. I'm sure Stratham is probably an underrated action hero. And, if this is the material he produces, it's easy to understand that no one wants to watch him long enough to appreciate him.

If I’d seen the longer cast list, I wouldn’t have borrowed it. Ray Liotta would be enough to get me to rent anything else. I’ve never seen him in anything that I liked, and never liked him in anything I've seen.

Based on a comic book? Nope. A short story? No. A fairy tale? Someone's 13-year old D&D adventure? No? ... oh, a video game. Of course.

You know how I can tell the CGI is pathetic? Because even I can tell it’s bad.

As long as the camera doesn’t get close, the brother-in-law bears a striking resemblance to my landlord. Very Strange.

Rating: 6 - Go get your teeth cleaned.

1 comment:

ccyager said...

Stratham was in a really rad movie called "The Bank Job." His character leads a group of thieves who rob a bank...and there's nothing boring or bad about it! I don't want to say anything more, it might ruin the fun. I was pleasantly surprised....(smile)

Also, there's "In Bruges," which is a black comedy about two gangsters who screw up a job and their boss gangster sends them to Bruges, Belgium to lay low for a while. One decides to play tourist while the other is a restless wild man. Bruges is a gorgeous medieval city and the scenery is well worth the price of a rent, but Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson are hilarious as the gangster duo, and Ralph Fiennes as their boss is deliciously cold.