Parenthood: job requirements

Things you need to do as a parent they didn't mention:

1. Buy frozen peas in the 4 lb. bag
2. Put the fluoridated toothpaste out of reach
3. Laundry laundry laundry
4. Wear pyjamas
5. Explain death
6. Make sure your laptop's power cord is out of the reach of little mouths
7. Explain the family cat is not a pillow
8. Become totally immune to the gross-out factor of any bodily fluid
9. Buy band-aids in the child-size box (i.e., big)
10. Explain where the sun goes at night (Japan & New Zealand)
11. Explain why mama & papa kiss on the lips, but you don't get to
12. Sing the ABC song and Old MacDonald over and over and over and over and ...
13. Teach how to ride a scooter
14. Deal with sleep deprivation for 18 months
15. Read Mouse Paint over and over
    
16. Read Go Dog Go! over and over and ...
17. Watch Cars over and over and over and over and over and over and over and ...
18. Maintain a stock of either Goldfish or Cheerios in your purse
19. Wish you'd bought stock in Pepperidge Farms, considering how many Goldfish you buy
20. Laugh after being puked on at 1:00 a.m.
    
21. Laugh after being puked on at 1:05 a.m.